First off, allow me to take a moment to apologize for my rather extended absence. One of my 2015 resolutions was to enjoy living my life, which is exactly what I’ve done. The last month has been exceptionally busy considering my final days at home and my first weeks of classes. At home I focused on my fiction writing and submitted a short story in a contest that will pit me against professional writers. *hides in a corner and whimpers*. I have also returned to my lovely miniature campus where I caught up with my college family, jumped ahead in homework, and spent a few nights out on the town. In fact, it’s hard for me to believe that I’ve only been back on campus for a month. It seems as if I’ve been here for ages already. That’s the funny thing about college–time is always running out, but it also seems to stand frozen. Time vanishes in the blink of an eye, but a single moment can seem to last a lifetime. I’m going to stop there before I make a halfhearted attempt at being philosophical. Anyhow, this post is going to be a highlight of random things that I’ve done in January.
Enjoying time with friends.
Last semester I made several wonderful friends. They accepted and understood my reclusive tendencies, but they also coaxed me out of my shell. They taught me how to smile, and then they encouraged me to laugh. This semester I feel as if I’m becoming more comfortable in my own skin. I’m learning to accept and love myself for who I am. Hanging out at our favorite cafe or singing show-tunes while on a spontaneous roadtrip is fantastic, but so is spending a weekend in my dorm room watching The Lord of the Rings… which may or may not be doing this weekend. Either way, I have people who love and care about the real me, and that is a beautiful thing.
When I’m not curled up inside with a cup of coffee and engaging conversation or hidden away in the shadows of my room, I’m out having adventures in the strange Texas weather. Several weeks ago there was a large snow storm. We spent the day reliving childhood scenes through hours of sledding and snowball fights.
Getting to know my roommate.
My roommate last semester was awkward. I was awkward. Sometimes a double dose of awkward makes the best of friends. In our case, we just made things twice as awkward. Now don’t get me wrong, she was an awesome roommate and we had some great times, but I just didn’t feel at home. It was probably my fault to a certain extent, because I didn’t know how to go about handling a roommate. This semester I’m a bit wiser. It amuses me, though. My new roommate (in the orange) and I have very similar interests, but our personalities are night and day. I crave solitude, and she finds it depressing. My sass is quiet and well concealed, and sarcasm is her middle name. I wear clothes that don’t call attention to me, and she has a style all her own. Somehow, these differences balance us out. When she needs an educated opinion, I can give her one. When I need someone to drag me out of my comfort zone, I can guarantee she’ll drag me into the spotlight.
Exploring failure and finding success.
A year ago I would have panicked about submitting a short story into a writing contest full of professional writers. I could barely handle submitting contests will fellow teenage writers. Fear of failure was one of the heaviest chains that help me back. This year, I’m breaking chains and exploring the beauty that can come through failure. My perfectionist side is throwing a temper tantrum about it, but my goal for 2015 is to start breaking those chains of fear.
One of my greatest fears has been drawing. My friends have always been inspiring artists, but I was terrified to sketch out my own ideas. It has never been one of my natural talent, but I’m glad that I’ve decided to pick up pencils. I’ve even considered taking a drawing class in the fall. I might not be very good, but I am enjoying myself. Success is not caring about perfection or quality, but creating something of beauty and loving it’s strengths and weaknesses.
Attending Abide 2015
Last weekend, I went camping. Camping in the middle of winter, you say? What sort of madness is this? Eh, insanity is my middle name. Also, Texas can successfully have all four seasons at once, so it’s easy to drive several hours and leave behind the snow and ice for sunshine and warmth. Plus, it was a prayer retreat, which was exactly what I needed to face the new year.
The prayer retreat focused on fallowing the Lord’s calling, which only encouraged the heart I have for other languages and cultures. Our theme verse was Isaiah 6:8: Then I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?” Then I said, “Here am I. Send me!”. This verse holds so much meaning for me. Despite my fears and failures, I want the Lord to use me. One day, I want to be able to share His love with the world. I don’t know if I’ll accomplish that through my books or through my travels, but no matter what, I want to use the opportunities I’ve been given to serve God.
Goodbye January, Hello new adventures. Things might not go as planned, but I’ll still be loving and living life.